What It's like To Live
by Rina Alexis Mcnugget Est.1994
Summary: He whispered in my ear his breath hot and sultry"You know The tragedy of life is not death,but what we let die inside us while we live ... so live Clary Live like today was your last and let me help you,Ill show what its like." And I lived.J/C -kooky27
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One: Mistakes**

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters or the book I only own my own added characters and my original plot in coherence with the original author.**

**--**

It was spring, the air was crisp and clean, the sun was beaming and even the grass seemed greener. The breeze just whispered in your ear like a past lover, only saying things that made this perfect day all to sweet. It was days like these where she wished he was here, there was couples by the beach, and stores they where holding hands and cuddling. it was times like these where she wished he would come and swoop her off her feet. Save her from being alone, yet again. He would hold her when she felt like she would fall, he would listen when she needed him the most.

She just wish he would come, who ever he was.

--

It was horrible being so lonely, there are some people who go through this world searching for eternal peace taking the lone road abandoning there family and love ones to find them selves, I could be one of those people.

I am alone.

I am always alone. At Christmas and valentines day even thanks giving, i would hear all my friends going on about how love was so great so magnificent, so eternal they would go on about making love and how that felt, but they never knew, I never even had my first kiss.

There are some days where I find my self thinking, that I might be here on this earth alone ... forever.

So I wish he would come, My some body. I read about him in my books, I've studied all the signs i know what love feels like, or what its suppose to feel like, butterfly's awkward stages always having them on your mind.

I am ready, prepared even and I am waiting.

I'll always be waiting.

My name is Clary I am 16 and I have never been in love. I go to west wood high school its just another prep school, with too many white kids that had too much money and dirty little minds. I hate people there, they are so predictable.

I usually sit and think about him, my forever, my true love. I think about what he would look like how would he act. In my dreams he ussally has short brown hair, and a boyish face freckled and pale much like my own. He would be a gentelman, kind and sweet not much of a fighter maybe just a simple joe. He would be slightly taller than me just enough to make me feel safe maybe just an inch or so above me not to tall. his eyes would be blue.

So perfect and bright they would remind me of the blue summer sky's that I always found so lonesome, they would remind me that I would never be alone ever again. "Hey Clary!" My best friend Simon called out to me from across the hall, his glasses pushed to the tip of his nose like always. They gave him a warm quirky feel, I loved that the most about him.

"Hey Simon." I said walking over to where he was.

--

Simon is my best friend, I have known him for 11 years. We met when we were five me and my mother had just moved in next door, I remember it was a Friday, I was complaining to my mother about not having enough cookies in the new house, I remember her rolling her eyes as she went to answer the door. He walked through the door with his cowlick and thick rimmed glasses holding a plate of fresh baked chocolate chip cookies. I remember walking up to him thinking 'wow he was such a dork' I knew from that day on me and him would always be friends. He was Simon my simple quirky Simon.

"Do you want to do something today Clary, I was thinking maybe we could go to that teen club your always talking about, whats it called raven something or another?" He squinted harshly before taking his glasses off to clean them off with his shirt.

"I don't know, Maybe anyways I thought you didn't like that place, you don't dance." I said.

"Well I have had a change of heart, I want to check it out I heard there was a lot of cute girls out there you know?" He said securing his glasses on his nose half smiling the way he always did when he was trying to be cool. "OK Simon lets go pick me up at 7 k?" I thought it was time, I have been cooped up way to long it was time to let loose maybe on the way I'd find Mr. right.

--

I waited all day wondering what i would wear. When I got home i found my mom holding a paint brush in her mouth canvas in place, her arms and feet even her face was soaked head to toe in paint.

"Wow mom new project?"

"Yup I woke up this morning and I thought what if I painted a person using my body I started thinking about all this color and splash's of ... well I don't know yet ... I'm still not done yet I guess."

I examined her painting i saw a person sprawled on the floor color all above her almost drowning her. It seemed like all that color was pushing her down suffocating her.

"Mom its missing a base. shes being crushed by the color you need to balance her make a base of green or even some one below her with open arms, let us know that if she falls she will be safe." My mother looked at me with open eyes. she quickly got to painting. soaking in what I just said.

"Your right ! thank you that what it needed. Perfect."

"So mom Im going out tonight with Simon." I said knowing that she say yes i felt the need to tell her anyways.

"OK Hun just check up every few hours." She said she was so care free some times it scared me but I guess that's how she was trusting and childish she lived the way she wanted to the way she felt like living. I loved her and envied her for that. I was exact opposite of her I was uptight and responsible I never took chances.

I went up the stairs and threw down my backpack. As soon as I did I ran to the bathroom to take a hot shower.

thirty minutes later I got out in my pink robe and raided my closet. Nothing I had nothing.

Nothing flirty or the least bit showy. So I went to my mothers closet. **Jack pot! **She had tons of flirty cloths. short skirts and shirts. It was club galore. After 2 hours of fussing I finally got the perfect out fit. i choose something cute and simple more my style than anything. I am wearing dark jeans and a fitted silk shirt it was gold and had an open back and closed but sexy I think . . I put on light make up and some gold flats, I don't wear jewelry so I put on some studs.

"Clary I'm here!" I heard Simon come up the stairs so i took one last glance and grabbed my bag.

"Wow Clary you look, really nice."

"Thank's."

Simon was wearing his usual a vintage rocker shirt and some dark denim jeans, messy boy-ish hair and his quirky glasses, he looked 's what i love the most about him, no matter what Simon is Simon. He always felt like home to me.

"Come on Simon lets go." I once heard a quote from some one very wise they said "The only sensible way to live in this world is without rules and tonight you're gonna break your one rule." I think tonight was my night.

I had to many rules, I was uptight Clary. Always do your chores Clary. But tonight was different, I think my times of being Kiss less was up.

Tonight I was going to get my kiss from a cute guy too! As we arrived to the club the knots in my stomach started to wind. I mean I never acted out in my life, never danced ... except in the bathroom in front of the mirror but come on . As we waited in line I took my time to observe the crowd, there where so many people most of them where wearing skin tight cloths and had a lot of piercings in places i didn't even know you could pierce.

It was a while before we got in. The bouncer was a big guy he looked a little Italian and smelled of old cigarettes he had a deep voice and accent. He looked at me and Simon for a few seconds before deciding to let us in.

The club was dark and had neon flashing lights every where it was hot and packed and the music was so loud the drinks by the bar was shaking. "Whoa!" I heard Simon say his eyes where locked on the girls by the corner. they where waving at him beckoning him closer.

"Go Simon I'm going to get a drink." I mean what kind of friend would i be if i didn't let him flirt with hot blond's?

He nodded dumbly before walking over to the girls.

When i go to the bar i noticed the cute bartender, he had black shaggy hair and brown eyes he was cute and boy-ish, and it was time to make my move.

"Hey want something to drink?" His voice was scratchy ruff like sand paper.

But I was determined to get my kiss.

"Yeah I'll have whatever you give me."

"OK its on the house then." He said with a wink as he passed me a cup with blue liquid inside of it.

I took it and took a gulp. It was fruity but strong. I could definitely taste the alcohol.

"Thanks" I said not sure what to do, so I drank the rest and headed toward the dance floor. The beat was fast and i was feeling good so i swayed to the song I dipped and twirled I was getting it.

Then all of a sudden, I saw him.

He had pail skin it was so beautiful he glowed, his tattoos that ran up his arms just added to his sex appeal, His hair was blonde wavy and shoulder length.

He had sharp model features. He looked like a god. What stunned me the most was that he was everything I didn't like He looked like a bad boy with his leather jacket and denim jeans but he was so sexy, I thought I would melt.

So i made my way over to the corner he was in, to say hi. I stood right in front of him but he remained oblivious to my existence.

"Hey!"

No reaction.

"Yo, dude!"

He stared at me.

"Are you going to just stand and stare or are you going to say hi?"

He looked surprised and a little confused.

"You can see me?" He asked, his amber eyes where clearly unamused "Duh what are you invisible?"

"That's kind of the point." He narrowed his eyes at me like he was annoyed or something.

"What are you a shadow-hunter?" I mumbled under my breath.

His eyes widened and and he stepped back.

"But your a mudane."

"No way!" I said I never thought they where real, My mom told me stories of what they where like what they did she even mention some of her own adventures. but I never could believe it was real. "Your the one who said it." He looked annoyed.

"Damn i knew you where to cute to be true." Then he smiled. god he almost blew me off my feet, he should warn a girl before doing that, Did I mention he looked like a god?

"I didn't mean that. I'm going to get myself another drink." I said before running away from the train wreck I just caused. When i got to the bar the bartender slid me over another blue drink. I gulped that one down in one shot and he gave me another.

"Hey why'd you leave?" "I needed to get a drink." I said while sipping on my third drink. It was warm as it trickled down my throat there was a fire growing spreading warmth over my body i felt relaxed careless even.

"Do you want to dance and start over?" He said he had a smug smirk almost like he knew what I would say.

So I nodded and followed him to the dance floor. As we danced he whispered in my ear. "You know for a minute i thought you where a pixie your so small." "Oh thanks a lot." I said with a roll of my eyes.

"Hey Its not my fault!" He said with a deep chuckle. After that we started to dance more and more heatedly. The next thing i knew we where in a room and he was kissing me. My first kiss with a guy whose name i didn't even know.

"Oh god!" I moaned. His hands were every where. I didn't know why i was allowing this. It was not like me to kiss a stranger at all.

Things moved so fast that night all I knew was I was in my under wear and he was in his boxers.

He was every where. kissing my chest my neck and my mouth. I don't think i should have drank all those thing that should feel wrong just felt so he made his way to my bra I stopped him.

"No! i can't do this No." He looked disappointed.

"Jace." He said suddenly.

"What?" I said not understanding.

"My name is Jace." "Oh well my name is Clary."

"You know i thought you where fun and different, but your just another up tight girl. its a pity."He said coming closer.

"Screw you, just cause I'm not a slut you turn on me?" "More mudane than I thought. you know The tragedy of life is not death, but what we let die inside us while we live and you have a lot to offer something tells me that your not the loose type I just thought i would show you what its like to live If only for one night."

He spoke so smoothly, so convincing.

All I knew was that he was kissing me.

I didn't want to stop.

No one would ever know.

So she let him.

It was painful and exhilarating he was gentle at first but rough threw everything else.

I couldn't believe what just went down. I woke up and he wasn't there. He left a note,

**Bye,**

**-Jace.**

I checked my phone it was almost one a.m

I changed quickly and called my mom. She sounded worried

I told her i was on my way home.

I found Simon outside of the club he looked frantic.

"Simon!" I yelled my legs and thighs where killing me i think he was a little too rough. "Clary!" he yelled "Where the hell were you? Ive been looking for you for an hour." He cursed. When Simon curses that means he's really pissed. "Sorry I had little too much to drink. look i want to go home."

"Lets go Clary." He said, it was very clear he was pissed but i had problems of my own.

When I got home i plopped down on my bed and fell asleep trying to forget what i did. I sat there trying to forget him .. the god. He was such a jerk.

He used me but i let him. But its ok i slipped up once, and no one will ever know.

**It will be my little secret.**

**--**

**- kOOkY 27 **

**ReVieW aND iLL mAke A sEcOnD chAPTer. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two: New Kid**

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters or the book I only own my own added characters and my original plot in coherence with the original author.**

**--**

My mother had told me once very long ago, about shadow hunters and the creatures of the night. She would go on with tales of her very own experiences, chasing vampires, and demons. She spoke of the mischievous pixies and the rivalry between the vampires and the children of the night. I would be entranced by these stories of this whole other world that regular humans couldn't see. I wished that this place, this world could be real. But I was smarter than that. I knew better than to believe such childish things, so i dubbed them as my mom's really good stories, I thought she was just really creative.

She often drew of people with markings on upon skin they were black and look like some ancient symbol. I often came to my own conclusions to what they meant somehow on the back of my mind i knew that I was right. I had told my mom of my guesses, she look astounded as I said them. She told me i had a gift, and it was only starting to grow. Again I assumed it was her creativity taking over I went along with her trainings and work outs. It was fun I bonded with my mother I mean why would I complain she turned my bed time stories in to an actual game, She trained me in the skill of fight and the knowledge of underworld creatures, She even had her own book about them;

How to kill them, How to survive basically. I learned how to read and create runes, it was an absolute bliss.

My mom told me that our story's where our little secret. It was something only we shared. The last story she ever told me was when I was 13 I had out grown her stories and I asked that this be our last. It was a horrifying story. She told me of a woman about her age, she married a monster, A shadow hunter that only wanted power. He wanted to wipe out all of the demons in the world and in the process use the humans for his selfish needs in turn it lead to many deaths of innocent children and people. She told me of this woman's betrayal to her husband, that she saw the evil and hate and decided to run away her son had died and so did her parents she had nothing to lose.

She spoke of her pain, as she ran way in to hiding with a monsters child in her womb.

But she never regret it, She ended up having a beautiful baby girl. But her Story was not finished it would never be She was doomed to a life in hiding, praying that nephilim would never find her, or her beloved child.

That night she kissed my head and gave me my last present. A stele It was glowing like a witch light, it was thick enough so that was hard to write but thin enough to be able to write, And it was long almost wand like. I was amazed she must have put a lot of working in to getting one of these I told her i would always hold it close to me no matter where i went.

Over the next three years we spoke less and less of our mystical world the only thing that we kept as a constant was the brutal trainings. I like them they kept me fit disciplined.

--

I got up this morning in a daze I thought back to all my childhood and wondered how I got here so fast. Before I knew it I was walking to my class room. "Hey Clary!" I heard my friend Sarah call me but i kept walking I had a hangover and I didn't feel much like socializing. "I know you hear me Clary!" She whined as she caught up to pace beside me.

"I know I just don't feel well today." I muttered. She continued to ramble on about some none sense. But I wasn't paying too much attention. My thoughts continue to stray back to that guy at the club. Jace I think he said his name was.

I promised myself I would not dwell on what had happened that night but I couldn't help it, it was addicting to think about how he made me feel. It was exhilarating, no words could explain.

But the fact of it was, he was gone and I would never see him again. I don't think it's him I'll miss it's more of the sex part. "Clary?" Sarah was becoming slightly more and more annoying by the second. "What?" I answered trying not to be grouchy.

"Nothing I guess come on lets go into the class room." She says before gently nudging me toward the door. The bell had rang and all the students rushed to find there seats. And in came a man a young man who looked to be about, 25 or 26 years old. He was handsome, he had brown hair and blue eyes he wore black sleek glasses and his thick black hair was pulled back giving him a sexy teacher look. His name was Mr. Smallwood "Hello class."His voice was deep and baritones obviously pass the stages of boyhood.

He placed his brief case on top of the desk, and took out his mathematics teaching books. "We are going to do pages- well hello."I looked over to the door to see what the cause of the disruption was. "Hello I'm very sorry to intrude but, look as though you will be having a brand new student in our school." Mrs. Lopez said she was an old lady with tons of wrinkles and a nasty attitude.

"Well where is he?" Mr. Smallwood asked impatiently, he was not too fond of Mrs. Lopez nor was he too fond of her dwindling ways. "Oh of course please enter." I turned my attention away from the door. My interest waning. It was just another new student. I turned to my notebook admiring my latest doodles of a girl sitting on a flower.

When I heard a cacophony near the door I looked down to see books on the floor followed by a frozen student as I looked up I found that the new student was not so new at all.

"Jace." I whispered my hands were shaking as I saw his shock ridden face. "Are you ok?" Mr. Smallwood asked picking up his books oblivious to his distressed state.

"Yeah I'm fine I must have slipped I'm sorry." He said as he too began picking up his books."Be more careful next time. You acted as though you seen a ghost." It was then that I feared for mu life it was then that I saw the glint in his eyes and the mischievous grin that had slowly unraveled across his face. "Um would you mind introducing yourself to the classroom?" Mr. Smallwood asked as he made his way back to his desk waving his had to dismiss Mrs. Lopez.

With a roll of her eyes she slowly complied. "Oh of course my name is Jace Wayland i am 19 I been home schooled all my life so they decided to put me in 10th grade just to be safe i guess, I am smart and i have model like features, and I know Clary, very very well i might add." He said with a conceded grin."OK sit down please Jace, because you are so fond of our dear miss fray you may take a seat right behind her.

All i could think of at that moment was lord help me. My plan was falling apart here he was a man whom I had relations with, relations which i swore to keep in secret. I could not fathom how life could get any worse.

But the universe seemed to love proving me wrong within those five minutes of him sitting down he began to play with my hair, which turned into trailing lines up and down my spine. I could feel the heat begin to pool in deep in my stomach. "Stop it!" I whispered harshly trying to concentrate on how to simplify x2(m3-m(-7)-2).He continued his menstruation's on my spine and began to go further to my hips.

I could no longer take and stood up abruptly and walked outside of the classroom ignoring the puzzled look on my teachers face. I could hear his foot steps follow close behind.

"What do you want?" I said stiffly not even bothering to look his way. I could feel his hands take hold of my shoulders as he whispered in my ear. "Your not afraid of me are you?" "Don't be silly Jace of course not your not worth my fear." I said with an annoyed tone. "So your distracted by me?"He said while turning to face me.

"Hm .. Please don't flatter yourself Jace your not that handsome." even as i said the words they seemed like lies all of them unbelievable lies. "OK we both know that's a lie!" He said his voice filled with amusement. "What the hell are you doing here anyways? I thought you were a shadow hunter?" I said as i walked down the halls avoiding all eye contact.

"Well my family thought it would be beat if i went to school for a while and stay low I mean come on just because i poured holy water on some demonic bikes doesn't mean they could sentence me here."

"Whatever I could care less Jace, I want you to keep your distance from me, That night was different completely different than what i really act like nobody can know ok?" I said i sounded mean and snobby but he was in my life and i couldn't risk the chance of him telling every one in the school.

"Fine Clary your secret safe with me for now but sooner or later your going to want more, and you come crawling back or I'll want more and i just might seduce you." He said as he grasped my chin in his hands and kissed me.

Before i could react he walked away leaving me to curse him out in silence.

I swear I hate him I mean sure he was hot but he was awful. I never want to speak to him again I thank god that he's not my husband or brother or even he were there is no doubt in my mind that i would have killed him by now.

--

**sHoRt i KnOW KiND oF bAsIc BeCaUsE tHere Is MoRE dRAMA too ComE. rEviEW.**

**- KoOkY27**

**ByE.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter three - Questions**

**Disclaimer- I do not own this book blah blah blah.**

**forgive me for lack of content ... but I have been busy with school I mean being a freshman is hard, please have sympathy I have a life you know. **

**--**

It had been 2 months since Jace came to my school, and he has done every thing in his power to make my life a living hell.

He told Simon my best friend that I was not who I seemed to be and was a **"wild cat in bed"** which of course ended up in a confused a furious Simon knocking on my door at 12:00 at night. I had to explain everything to him, he was upset but accepted it he vowed never to tell a soul but he made it very clear that he was not the least bit happy about any of this.

"Thank you Simon your the best friend a girl could ask for I love you!" I said when he had finally come to to terms. "Clary I am not going to front and say I agreed with what you did and I do not in any way say that it will be ok for you to do it again in the future I mean you don't even know the guy!

you don't know if he has an std or worse! you could have gotten pregnant! think Clary I mean i never thought I would have to tell you this out of all people but you should have thought before you did anything I am very disappointed in you!"

"Yes, yes I am very well aware of your tragic disappointments but we cant change what happened and as for pregnancy I wouldn't worry about that I been having a regular period if you must know and I don't feel any morning sickness or anything so yeah Simon I think I'll be ok, and as for any sexual activities that you think will happen in the future, will certainly not! I can assure you that." I said with a shudder I mean I couldn't stand the guy why would I want to sleep with him? and I would never sleep with anyone else so my sex life was officially over.

"Ok .." Simon said with uncertain eyes. His glasses where falling off the tip of his nose as they usually do when he gets all work up about something. "Trust me ok I know that should be the last thing I should be telling you but please I need your forgiveness because with out it we can never move on I for one would like to live my life as if this horrible incident never even occurred." I said exasperated I just wanted it to be over with It was no longer that big of a deal the deed was done we cant change it we just have to live and learn and hope that we can move on.

With a bit of reluctance he nodded his head in dismay clearly not content with my answer but I decided we had enough of this particular subject, and decided to ignore it.

We spent the rest of the day at my house flipping through magazines and criticizing models It was awkward and uneasy but we coped, I just hoped that he would let it go by the end of the week cause I don't think I could bear another day like this.

**--**

I went to the park like I always do on weekends, it was strange how the sky which I use to long for, no longer had an effect on me, today the sky was just the sky and the beach was just a beach. there was no special significance or meaning it was just land and sky, It made me wonder how much that night had truly changed me.

The weekend came and went and on Monday I went to school.

"Ok class, today we are going to do a project its a mathematical presentation I will pair some of you up into twos or threes seeing as you are uneven numbers, this project will consist of teamwork and I must see that you showed pride in your work.

Ok I will asighn you a subject and you will make a presentation on explaining what the formula is and how you will break it down so that we may understand it I call it teacher for a day so remember have fun!" Mr. Smallwood said, his face was glittering with joy, showing that he took great pride in the idea of this assignment but I for won could have cared less all I could pay attention to was the lingering hands on my back.

"Ok, Amanda and Jason ... Carly and Sunny ... Megan and John .. Oh and Clary and Jace .. Um I think that's it if i am correct?" , had now became my most hated teacher. I wanted to shout "hell no" but my dignity wouldn't allow it. so I endured.

Jace had stopped his ministrations and chose to sit up right and pull my desk in front of his. He stopped to look at me with a grin on his face, he almost looked to unsurprised.

"I know you had something to do with this awful pairing so spill!" I whispered harshly.

he sat back on his desk his grin still firm and intact. "Well I am still kind of new, and I keep to myself and since you are my friend I just simply requested that we be paired is all." "I hate you!" I said just loud enough for the girl next to me to hear she gave me a surprised look before turning her head in disapproval. "God do you do this to make me miserable I mean, its not like I knew you and liked you and broke your heart It was a one night stand get over it you ass." I whispered the last part with as much venom I thought I could muster.

"Awe you seem kind of cranky Clary." Jace said his voice unbearably taunting, I just wanted to tear those pretty gold eyes right out of his beautiful skull.

"Whatever lets just do this ok?" I said before burying my head in my book. mathematical equations ... simple ... but boring. I looked soberly out side of the window it was a beautiful day the grass was green and there was a slight breeze but as beautiful as the world looked to day the sky still held no meaning it was more of a pretty picture today no other meaning just a sky and somehow with him next to me the sky seemed to more than empty more than depressing it seemed lonely It almost seemed as though it missed my wandering desperate eyes that had so often looked up with raw want.

Sitting here with Jace seemed so right, when he wasn't being such an arrogant ass he was pleasant to be around. "So that's the plan we will do that and rehearse after school ok?" He said with wondering eyes. His broad shoulders looked tense the outline etched into his white beater. "Uh yeah sure" I said absent minded I had been day dreaming lately and I don't know why.

"Ok your place or mine?" Ok my next reaction you couldn't blame me for I mean I was kind of spacey.

"No place you pervert!" I yelled "Never again!"

"Um as flattering as that was I didn't mean that, though I am open to it if you are so eager!" He said waggling his eyebrows. "Screw you!" I said before getting up and leaving.

He got up and ran out after me pulling me against him. "Look I'm sorry ok lets just be friends I know I can get a little over bearing but that's just how I am so again we will forget this happen but I really want to get to know you, your interesting Ill tell you what come over my house we will study ok?

He was right I was sick of fighting it was too much energy!

"Fine I'll walk home with you after school Jace" I said managing a smile. "Ok Clary!" He said his face holding his usual grin. It was set after school I went with him to his house we walked a while before we got to this broken down hospital. I looked at him in bewilderment 'He lived in a hospital this has to be some kind of joke.

"Look harder, what kind of shadow hunter-" He said with impatience before being interrupted by my surprised gasp. I did as instructed and instead of a broken down hospital I saw a tall beautiful hospital it almost looked ancient and Gothic it was gorgeous.

"You are so lucky Jace!" I said almost lost for words.

"Yeah the life of a shadow hunter." He said sarcastically. I rolled my eyes as we walked inside, It was so cool I loved it! the ceilings were carved in stone it almost looked cave like, we were being led by a cat named church. he was fat and gray.

"Jace!" Some one said in a panicked voice. Out from a door appeared a woman she looked to be about 18 or 19 like jace. she was sinlike any one I had ever seen, she was super model beautiful she was tall and slender with a big bosom and hips her long ivory hair cascaded down her back like a water fall. she had flawless pail skin and markings all along her hands.

she came to a halt when she saw me standing there and with a disgusted glance she looked at Jace. "Why did you bring a mundane here Jace?" She said with clear disapproval.

Jace rolled his eyes and wiped the nonexistent dust of his shirt, before answering. "No that would be stupid I brought a shadow hunter here!" He said with a sadistic smile.

She looked at me in shock before turning to glare at Jace "Lies, she holds no markings of the shadow hunter." she said arrogantly. "And if you where going to make such a ridiculous

assumption you could of said she was a pixie, she so small she could pass as one and I suppose shes pretty enough to be one as well..."

I didn't know whether to be insulted or ... well I really didn't know how to feel I just couldn't help but stare at her unreal beauty.

"Her names Clary and shes a shadow hunter ok Uh you where calling me why?" He said trying to get straight to the point.

"There is urgent news, and we need to meet Alec and Hodge in the study!"She said clearly irritated when I didn't make a move to leave.

"Uh I would leave but I don't know." I said uneasy her sudden looks where sending shudders down my spine I had a feeling she was involved with Jace and felt a little threatened by

my presence.

"No your staying I mean you are one of us there is no reason you shouldn't be able to join us come." He said before walking down the hall even further into the dark halls the

anticipation that had some how found its way into my stomach started to grow larger and larger.

**_--_**

We walked into a room the walls where simply covered in books, I got so excited like I usually do when I see books; it was orgasmic as I walked in too find so many books!

I almost got lost in them only to be jolted out of my bliss by a interrupting cough.

In the middle of the room stood a old man his skin was wrinkled and dry he had a hunch and wore a thick black robe.

And on his shoulder was a big raven looking bird.

And in the shadows was a faint silhouette of a boy his long dress pants poking out from the shadows.

"Who is she Jace?"

the old man said kindly.

"She is my friend Clary."

"Hello." I managed to squeak out.

"Hello young one .. I see you must be a friend of his from school well you might be wondering why we live in- " He started but was interrupted.

"She knows, she is a shadow hunter but she has never been marked."

Jace said annoyance was seeping into his voice.

"Yes I know of your kind or my kind and the creatures I know it all but strangely before tonight I never really realized that they where true I thought they where my mothers silly

creative story's." I said unsure of my own explanation as it came out it sounded unreal.

"How can we trust you?" The woman said with venom. she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Mark me, If i survive you will know I am telling the truth if not well then I will become a monster so you decide mark me.." I said confidently, even though inside my insides where

twisting into twos.

"No wait!" Hodge said reaching his hand out stretched toward me. but it was too late Jace already had his stele pressed against my pail translucent skin. The girl looked in horror and

even the boy in the chair stood up in shock they looked scared and I felt even more so, I looked away as the stele touched my skin I bit my lip in pain as it burned into my skin.

**Then all of a sudden. . .**

--

_**- kOoKy 27 **_

**_ByE._**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four - Burned**

**Disclaimer- I do not own the mortal instrument books sorry!**

**Enjoy! 8)**

--

It burned, but somehow it felt right against my skin, the pain wasn't as bad as I thought it would be I unclenched my eyes and looked down when I felt Jace move away. "That's it?" I asked dumbly. I half expected some weirdo lights and some other science fiction event to occur. To tell you the truth I was kind of disappointed. I looked at isabelle who **(up until this point had kept a 5 foot distance)** was now 2 feet away gently peering at my arm inspecting to see if there was any sign that I was going to combust. "I think I'll be ok I mean it's in my blood right?" I said smugly.

She glared at me before retreating toward her brother who looked towards me with pure and utter disgust. "You may have blood of the nephilim but you are more mundane than I can help but notice, flawed and pathetic!" Alec said suddenly his face came from the shadows a frown creased heavily into his forehead.

"Stop Alec you know that it doesn't matter she is one of us, look the stele proved it and for the mundane part I think I can fix that." Jace said arrogantly. I looked at him curiously wondering what exactly he meant by the 'fixing the mundane part.' "Look Clary I apologize for the children's rudeness they don't take well to strangers, you are more welcome into our home please make yourself comfortable." Hodge said standing without stretched hands.

"Thank you very much but I don't think I'll be here that often only part of this week but thank you, and as for you both I see you both don't like me being here so I'll do my best to hurry out of here as soon as possible." I looked up at Jace who now sported a frown; I tugged him gently before walking away. I heard him follow me out but I didn't turn to wait I wanted to finish what I came to do and be done with it. I watched as the gray cat **'church'** rubbed against me, I was tempted to kick it.

Now I knew why he acted so obnoxious his family was just as beautiful and obnoxious. They acted as if they were better than me! Just because they could see mystical creatures they were above humans, they where humans! In reality they where what humans would call freaks, self righteous ass holes, didn't make any sense.

"Hey where's the fire?" Jace said with a grin. "Don't start let's just get this over with where is your room?" I said rolling my eyes and tapping my foot impatiently I wanted him to get the message of how annoyed I really was. "Oh so eager for round two huh, I'm sorry but I won't let you take my sweet-."

"Shut up Jace!" I said as soon as I realized Isabelle was walking into the hallway. "Come on then." Jace said sobering up as soon as he saw his sister behind him, my face flushed as he took my hand and walked down the hallway.

We reached an old wooden door when Jace stopped. "This dear is where the magic happens." I walked in an observed his surprisingly clean room, in fact it look almost as if nobody lived there at all, his bed was plain and simple the frame a dark mahogany dressed in blue bed sheets there was a door to the closet and a bathroom, and a desk and computer on one side not very much for a boy. "It's very plain." I said aloud. Walking toward his bed I plopped down surprised at the softness, I never wanted to get up.

I let out a small moan. "Oh my." I sighed. "I haven't even touched you yet." Jace said perplexed. "Oh shut up it's not my fault you have an orgasmic bed." I said closing my eyes. I relished the feeling of the cloud beneath me.

--

The afternoon went by quickly and I found myself becoming intrigued with the man before me, when he was serious that is.

The other 99 percent of the time he was an infuriating ass. When I got home I was surprised to find Simon waiting for me. "Hey!" He said wiping his shorts before walking up to greet me. "Where were you?" he questioned before I could answer. "With Jace doing a project" I said casually I rushed inside before he could respond. "Wait you where what?"

"You heard me it was strictly business I still hate that guy, and now I hate his family too." I said my voice muffled by the refrigerator door.

There was left over pasta, I took it and shoved it into the microwave. "You met his family!" He said his face was chagrined. "Yeah I mean I was in his house it would have been rude if I walked into his room without a word to them you know I don't want them to think I'm a booty call or something."I rephrased that sentence in my head and realized that I was just a booty call. "You were in his room?!" Simon was just about at boiling point he defiantly did not like Jace at all. "Ok I'll admit it sounds wrong but nothing happed just chill out ok?" I said pleadingly, the last thing I needed was Simon being mad at me.

"Fine go get your pasta before it explodes." He said rolling his eyes.

Too late it exploded all over me as soon as I opened the microwave door. That seemed to set off Simon, he laughed for a full minute while I tried to wipe off the scorching hot pasta off my shirt.

So I took off my shirt that seemed to stop Simons laughing."Clary what the hell!" Simon said trying to cover his eyes for the sake of my virtue. "Oh please you act like you never saw me shirtless." I said rolling my eyes.

"Yeah when we where twelve!" He nearly screamed. "ok, ok!" I said laughing

I heard the door bell ring i pushed Simon before answering the door not fully realizing that I was in my bra and shorts. "Hey Clary you left your-." Jace was there holding my purse when he stopped and looked at my shirtless chest. "Hey Clary whose at the door." Simon said as he grabbed my shoulder walking behind me. "Jace, I left my purse at his house." I was mortified. I knew what Jace was thinking I mean what else could he think; it looked like I was sleeping with Simon.

"Jace its-."

"I'm not that kind of girl." He scoffed as he said the words. "Sure you proved me wrong how many guys have you slept with I knew it you're just…"

"Jace it shouldn't even matter to you I hate you, I mean I would have never slept with you had I known you'd turn out to be this involved in my life, what did you expect you took my virginity so what I would be your booty call for all eternity, go away Jace!" I said as I slammed the door walking away.

Simon followed me into my room and patted my back gently when I cried, like a good friend. I knew that jace was no good I knew that I should have never slept with him but I was guilty. I wish he would move on and relize I was a different girl that night and I don't like him or care about what he thinks of me.

--

They next few days at school where the worst of my life I had been feeling sick every morning, and I had been a depressed mess for the rest of the days Jace hadn't spoken to me except when we worked on our assighment which wasnt all that long anymore.

I hate him, I hate him. I sat at the lunch room glaring at him hoping he'd turn around and face my wrath.

"You know you look ridicoulous!" Simon said handing me a tray of food. "No thanks I dont think I can stomach any food at this point plus something in that smells rank!" I said covering my nose trying not to gag.

"What do you mean, Its cheese pizza how can that smell bad?" He said as he ate my tray full of food.

"I don't know but get it away from me!" I said as I moved to the opposite end of the table. "Are you OK you haven't been looking good these pass couple of days maybe you should go to the doctors." He said with a worried expression. "No im ok honestly maybe its all the stress, as usual I blame it on Jace." I said rolling my eyes in said asses direction.

"So go talk to him!" Simon shouted at me.

I turned toward him in shock, why would he of all people want me to make up with Jace? "What I thought you where part of I hate Jace fan club." I got up to head toward the door knowing that simon would follow.

"Yes but, its driving me crazy to see you so miserable so I decided not to be so selfish and let you have a go at it." Simon said with humor in his eyes.

"Listen I don't want anything to do with him!" I said walking into my classroom.

--

**"I think I'm pregnant."** I said.

Simon who was eating his food spit it out all over the kid next to him and with out so much as a 'I'm sorry' he proceeded to scream. "You think your what?" I quickly yanked on his jacket and dragged him out of the cafeteria.

"OK it was my bad I should have never told you during lunch, but you have to understand its been eating me up all day!"  
"I thought you were absolutely certain that this couldn't happen to you I thought ..." He said dumbfounded.

"Look, it doesn't matter what you thought or what I thought what matters is I think I'm pregnant." By this point I was shaking the poor boy into oblivion.  
"We got to-" I started to mumble incoherently his eyes set at a distance.

"I'm going today after school OK?" she only received a quiet OK.  
As she left Simon alone to ponder on his thoughts she looked over at Jace not missing the way his eyes followed her every move.

--

**Hospitals**

**white**

**plain**

**depressing**

**down right smells funny**

**--**

**"Number 27 Clary Fray."**

There was a strange moment of silence where all that could be heard was the frantic beating of her heart, the white of the walls seemed to bright and the cheeriness of the nurses tone seemed too out of place. Her world was falling apart and everyone around her seemed OK with that. "Come on Clary." Simon said giving her hand a gentle tug before standing. The walk down the hall seemed like a walk off the plank everything seemed to be more defined, slow even.

The nurse led them into a small room, the bed had paper on it and there where posters of teen pregnancy every where. "Please take a seat Ms. Fray." The nurse said before walking in her self.

"If I may ask a few questions before we begin." Clary responded with a silent nod. "Ok how long have you been sexually active?" Clary looked at her with wide doe eyes before responding. "I have only done it once and my last encounter was almost 3 months ago." The nurse nodded before continuing. "Have you experienced any Abdominal bloating, Breast sensitivity** (tenderness, swelling)**, Fatigue Food cravings or aversions, Frequent urination, Light bleeding or spotting, Missed menstrual period, Nausea or queasiness?"

Simon was in the corner blushing while Clary tried to answer as best as she could. "No bloating, yes to the breast tenderness, yes to fatigue, no to food craving, no frequent urination, and well I have always had a light period so I guess yes to light bleeding, haven't missed a period, and a lot of nausea as of late."

The nurse then took out a cup and handed it to Clary. "Please pee in here and bring it too me when your done."

"OK."

--

The gel was slick and cold on the base of her stomach everything felt tense and anticipated, Simon squirmed in the chair next to her. The Screen next to her blurred with black and white images. then all of a sudden in the silence of it all a soft thrumming could be heard Clary looked at the screen in shock. **"Here it is your baby's heart beat."**

--

**NeVeR ExPeCtEd ThaT HuH LoSErs, JuST KiDdINg UpDaTE sOOn SoRRy FoR tHE wAIt And The Cliffy I tHinK ITS My NeW tHinG rEmemBER mY 10 ReviEwS Per ChapTER RUle LoVE yAH fAITHful Veiwers!**

**- KoOky27 **

**ByE.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five: Wrong turn**

**Disclaimer - I don't own this book, maybe its a good thing.**

--

**Recap -**

The gel was slick and cold on the base of her stomach everything felt tense and anticipated, Simon squirmed in the chair next to her. The Screen

next to her blurred with black and white images. Then all of a sudden in the silence of it all, a soft thrumming could be heard. Clary looked at

the screen in shock. "Here it is your baby's heart beat."

--

**A baby.**

**ba·by (bb)_n._ _pl._ ba·bies**

**1. **

**a. A very young child; an infant.**

**b. An unborn child; a fetus.**

**c. The youngest member of a family or group.**

**d. A very young animal.**

** 2. An adult or young person who behaves in an infantile way.**

**3. _Slang_ A girl or young woman.**

**4. _Informal_ Sweetheart; dear. Used as a term of endearment.**

No scratch that this was not a term of endearment this was a life, a small innocent life. It was a fetus, her fetus, Jaces fetus. **Jaces fetus!** She can't ever let

him know. That would mean he would be in her life forever, terrorizing her for the rest of her years. It seemed like she only had one choice, one absolute

way that Jace would never know and her life would never change.

**Abortion**

She would have to snip it in the bud. No one would ever know, not her mother, not Jace, not anyone. Except for Simon, good ol' Simon he would neverbe ok with keeping a secret like this for her and she would never allow was only one thing to do and that was take responsibility for her action. Tell Jace that she was carrying there child and she would have to put upwith his arrogant know it all ways. Simon hadn't said a word to her in days from the moment the doctor told her that she was indeed having a child Simonhad not reacted. Poor Simon must be in shock from all this drama. She was officially the worst friend in the world but she couldn't help but be selfish, shetook some pleasure in knowing that she wasn't completely alone in all of this Simon was there for her and despite everything she knew he was there to stay.

But still she couldn't help but wonder, she had expected a long lecture or scolding but nothing not even a gasp or a frightened look he remained clam and drove her to the house and kindly smiled before taking off in the car. It was odd behavior for him, in fact it was odd behavior for anyone who had ever been in his shoes. She had gone up to her room her mind spinning miles a minute.

She laid in her bed evaluating the situation. She was 16 a sophomore in high school and Jace was a 19 year old sophomore and a shadow hunter he was dangerous, reckless, no good. It reminded her of the stories her mother used to tell her the tales of the shadow hunter the stories of the brave knights off to fight those demons, the danger of it all she knew her mother left to provide a safer life for her and she knew that she had to do the same. What if Jace wanted to bring there child into that life?

What if he didn't want to be in the babies life at all? Unlike most people she was not sure she could do it alone. She sat on her bed ignoring the blissful chirping of the birds outside her pale white window or the gentle laughter from the kids playing out in the hot sun. She ignored the shutting of the door downstairs and the footsteps up the stairs and into the room, she didn't hear he mothers voice nor did she care to hear it she ignored the world as she knew it. It was that moment when her world started to break.

2 Weeks Passed. She lost 13 pounds and she had morning sickness every day non-stop. Simon had not spoken a word about it they went on as if had never happened. "I've got it!" Clary said all of a sudden during Mrs. Salomon's lecture. "Miss Fray please control yourself!" Mrs. Salomon bellowed out her voice was low and goose like.

She was a nervous 70 year old woman over due for her retirement she was old fashion and nice. Her Gray curls where thin and bodiless neatly slicked back into a bun. she wore long cotton skirts with a green sweater and some penny loafers. She was a big woman with soft pale wrinkled skin and a kind heart though she was often misunderstood.

"I am so sorry." She said as she sat down with a gentle blush. "Simon!" Clary said after class pulling Simon into an empty girls bathroom. "What the hell Clary this is the girls bathroom."

"Be my baby daddy!" She said suddenly pulling Simon into a trance.

"What are you crazy?" He said quickly. "Yeah I am." Clary said realizing that her plan was flawed, she didn't think that he would say no. "I am so sorry Clary but what would my mom say she thinks i am a virgin imagine me telling her yeah mom i got my best friend pregnant, she would freak out!"  
He said.

Clary sighed as she dropped onto the bathroom floor. "Yeah sorry I didn't think of that I know she probably wont want you to hang out with a trouble maker like me after people get word of this and I don't blame her." She said cradling her head in her hands. She heard Simon drop gently next to her.

"No Clary don't say that and I wont let her I love you Clary me and you are like one soul in to bodies I love you for your flaws there what make you Clary fray."

Simon said taking her head into his hands while placing a kiss on her forehead. "Thank you Simon I knew I could count on you thank you for being such a great friend." She said taking a deep breathe and standing. "I'm going to tell him today." "That's good I am proud you know even though hes a royal douche bag he deserves to know!"

--

It wasn't immediately that she told him it took two weeks to finally knock on his door and another too weeks to wait a few seconds before leaving, she was almost 5 months before she found the guts to tell him. "If its one of you little pranksters again I swear I'm going to- Clary?" There she stood Isabelle, even in her gym clothes she looked stunning. Her eyes a dark brown looked at her with hate and disgust. "Please tell me where Jace is." Clary said shyly loosing her gut.

"What do you want he's not in yet." Isabelle said rolling her eyes. "I need to speak to him about something." She said looking over Isabelle's shoulder

searching for the boy she was looking for. "Listen anything you have to tell him you can tell me so spill it or get out." Isabelle said with impatience poured in her tone.

"You'll find out soon enough." Clary said looking down.

"Fine he should be here any minute if you remember his room go up there and wait for him." Isabelle said letting her in with a big sigh.

Clary nodded as she made her way up to his room. She opened the door and fell gently onto his bed. She laid there for ten minutes until the door opened and in walked in a angry looking Jace. "What the hell are you doing here?"

She got up slowly thanking god her baggy shirt hid her tiny baby bump. "Ok before you kick me out I need to talk to you." She said sitting back down. "What the hell could you possibly want shouldn't you be with Simon?" He said sitting in the chair farthest from her. "Ok I know you think that I slept with  
Simon but I didn't that's sick he is like my brother and I'll let you know not that you don't already, but you where my first and only." She looked over to

the door hearing three gasps, opening the door out fell Isabelle Alec and max there little brother. "I came over here to tell you that mom is here?" She said shocked and confused. Jace sighed as he shut the door in her face. "Go on Clary what did you want to tell me?"

It was then she started to cry. "I know you may not want to be here for me and its ok I get that but I thought you should know." By this point she couldn't

continue her tears becoming to much. "What happened Clary please tell me!" he said setting his hand on her back. the silence was crushing him and as much as he did not like her at this moment he cared for her more than he would like to admit. "I am pregnant!"

He removed his hand from her back and moved back as if she was infected. She sat on the bed sobbing while he stood there stunned.  
What would he do? Being a father.

How would he Jace raise something so innocent and small? He couldn't but he knew he had too. It was then that he snapped out of it and pushed Clary  
back on to the bed lifting her shirt and touching her stomach. There it was clarification the small bump that adorned her stomach, he touched the skin gently. 'There was a baby there' he thought 'His baby'. They sat there in silence and for two hours she let him touch her stomach embracing that there lifes where about to change forever.

"Isabelle who was she?" Max asked his brown eyes innocent and questioning. After they had been kicked out of Jaces doorway they walked into the kitchen and started to make dinner for the arrival of their mother and father. She was staring into the silver pot lost deep into her thoughts why would some one like Jace be with someone as plain and dull and beautiful small vibrant and nice as Clary?

Was she not good enough for him? Not that she had any type of interest in Jace but she was a goddess among fools and he had known her for his whole life, but not once did he ever look her way. For a long time she watched as he flirted with the girls the demons the warlocks the half breeds. She thought he had a thing for underworlders or some thing like that.

But in comes this little girl and she turns Jace into a love sick puppy. Was she a pixie, did she have him under her spell? No she would have already found out if that little vixen in disguise was a pixie she was no fool.

But apparently Jace was.

She only feared he would fall to deep if he wasn't careful the last thing they needed was another drama.

"How could this happen." Jace groaned.

His head was on her stomach his hands wrapped around her hips he laid beside her on his bed. She was telling him all about when she found out and why she did not tell him sooner.  
"Well we did the deed and did not use protection, I thought I was good but I was wrong, very wrong and I blame you for this entirely." She said tossing his head off of her trying to sit up and pull her shirt down.

But he caught her hand lifting her shirt and pushing her down again.  
"How are you pinning this on me?" Placing his head on her stomach again. She leaned on her elbows glaring at the back of his head.  
"Mr. Let me show you what its like to live, you seduced me!" She said laying back onto the bed.

"You where all but willing!"

"That was because of the seduction!"

"I disagree." He said.

"What am I going to tell my mother, she doesn't even know that I lost my virginity what am I going to do?" She groaned placing her hand on her forhead dramaticly. "And not only my mother but luke what will I do?"

"Listen I dont know if you know this but I am not a asshole all the time, I want to help you Clary I want you to give me a chance." Jace said sitting up next to her.

"What are you talking about Jace?" Clary said her face filled with confusion.

"Please let me be a father and a boyfriend." Her face was blank she didn't know how to act or what to do but his eyes where pleading and innocent so she said something she knew she would end up regretting, "Yes Jace Ill give you the chance."

--

**I KnOw iT SuCKeD bUt YoU cAN gIve Me GoOD oR bAd ReIvIEws I dONt Care **

**ThANKS faIthFUL veiWERS **

**-koOkY27**

**ByE.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six: Truth **

**Disclaimer - Do not own any of the character's of mortal instruments.**

--

If anyone knew what she was doing be free to announce it freely. She was at a loss for words not only did she allow Jace (**The annoying speck that destroyed her life with his golden eyes of lust.)** to be in the baby's life but she lowed him the chance to be her boyfriend so they could play **'Happy Family'** which both of them knew wasn't the case. He was trying that she was sure of but it still didn't take away from that horrible taste in her mouth that something horrible was about to happen.

--

He walked through the halls stiff an unsure no one knew she was carrying his child ... yet. Her bump was small enough to be covered with a big t-shirt but still it worried him. It was not what the school thought but how would he be able to face Clary's mother? "Yes ma'am I took your daughter's innocence within 30 minutes of knowing her in a closet at some random night club, No ma'am it wasn't after the fact that I even knew her name, I am going to be graduating in 3 weeks so I'm going to leave her to fend for her self in a school full of conniving jealous judgmental sharks."

That would blow over well.

He asked her to give him a chance to be a father and a boyfriend maybe even a husband but was he ready for it? All these concerns he knew Clary could never hear she would **kill **him.

--

"Hey Jace." I said as I watched him walk past me in the hall. "Hey." He said eying Simon who's was currently attached to my arm glaring at Jace profusely. "Hey guys ease up ok your both the most important men in my life right now I don't need all the bickering ok?" They both nodded glumly as I flashed a smile and looked at my stomach that was currently drowned in fabric. "You know Jace, I think it's going to turn out like you I mean it kicks every five seconds I swear!" I joked to ease the tension. "Yeah I guess it is remind me never to give the Lil' guy anything containing sugar would ya'?" Simon joked back. Finally Jace smiled and grabbed my other arm bringing me close to his side. "Hey I'm not that bad right Clary?" He said looking down at me. "Yeah sure." I murmured while ducking under his arm to avoid his squeeze of fake hurt and disappointment.

"Hey we all know your more wired than the energizer bunny!" Simon said while holding his stomach with mirth. I couldn't help but smile as Jace pulled Simon into a nuggy, they where finally getting along it brought tears to my eyes. Damn hormones!

"Hey whats wrong!" Simon said slipping out of Jaces hold rushing to my side. "Nothing I'm just so happy to see you two getting along!" I said wiping my eyes. "Us getting along never, we just put up a front in front of you." Jace said while looking at Simon who nodded in agreement. "I mean hes ok for a arrogant asshole." Simon said slipping his arm back through mine.

"Awe and here I thought I cried for a reason." I said with fake gloom. "Awe get over it." Jace said coming nearer to me and before I could come up with a decent response he kissed me right in front of everyone I heard echos of gasp run through the halls and one groan of disgust courtesy of Simon. "Hey be careful ok I'll pick you up in the front after school ok?" I nodded my head dumbly before being dragged away by Simon.

--

"Now class please turn to page 56 in the red test book today we will be discussing-" I drained out the teachers voice it was too nasally and disturbing I was already stressed enough and by the looks that I get from Clary I know she is too. I don't know how to be a father my own father died while I was young but even while he was alive he wasn't the greatest 'Father' per say though he was an excellent teacher he taught me everything I know but what would he think of me now? Having a child right now was defiantly not in his plans for me but he was dead so I didn't have to think of that much.

It's the how part I was afraid of. How was I supposed to support her and the baby on my own? All I did was kill creatures that didn't give me pay at all. Unless ... I presented my child's pending birth to the faeries ask for there support and then got to the council maybe they had the answer to what I needed to do. It was dangerous but I had a feeling that Clary could handle it.

Today I planned to take Clary to my house and confront the family 'mom' 'dad' max, Alec, and Isabelle. **Hurray Hurray !**

If I knew anyone would give me hell it would be them. They where my family and it had too be done they had to know that they where going to be aunts, uncles and grandparents. "Oh god." Damn did I do that out loud Shit. "Mr. Wayland would you like to tell the class exactly what your groaning about?" Stupid teacher and there stupid questions can't they leave well enough alone? "Well you see I was groaning about how boring this class is but now too think of it, I think it was more the sound off your_ nasally_ ass voice that did I mean do you really talk like that or are you trying to make our ears bleed in _addition_ to death by board-um?" Shit why did I say that? Me and my god damn big mouth.

"Go to the office Mr. Wayland you are dismissed!" Her face was turning purple with every word that came out from her mouth so I decided to leave before I made matters worse. "Ok I'll leave thank you for saving me from your horrible lectures!" I said before leaving. Ok maybe I meant to say that one but hey she deserved it she was a horrid teacher.

So instead of going to Principle's office I decided to see my baby make that babies **(Including Clary)** at art class the teacher was always too into his work to notice when students walked in and out of his class. As I reach her door I looked the small rectangle piece of glass and I see her with an over sized smock on she looked pretty, her dark red tresses fell over her face in a messy fashion she looked into her work and focused. So I walked in and sat right across from her waiting for her to notice

--

I walked into art class 2nd period it was one of my favorite classes it was relaxing and made me use my imagination. It was where I could express myself without being judge and picked apart. The room was spacious and covered in splattered paint bits of torn paper and dried up clay but I loved it there where about 29 of us in the class so we choose too keep to certain tables mine was always the more empty one which was ok because I preferred it that way. So as I walked through the heavy green doors I sat down at my table putting my bag down.

"Alright class today we are going to do paintings of feeling yes it sounds odd but I want you to paint a feeling on to a canvas not an object or a person but a series of colors that you would think of to describe what your feeling at this moment." My teacher was a man in is late 40's he had a funky 70's style and a sliver go-tee to match his older style he was always lost in his own world when he started painting reason why many kids often skipped his class or there was a sudden addition to the number of kids in this period.

20 minutes into class I knew he walked through the door I don't know how but I did. I choose not to say anything and return to my work maybe he'd disappear. But he didn't instead he whined until I talked to him. "Alright I am talking to you leave me the hell alone ok?" I felt the baby kick seemed like every time I got agitated with Jace the baby seemed to want to kick me more and more. "Thank you!" He said smiling as he moved a piece of hair out of my face.

"So I was thinking today we could read a few of the baby books I got are you up for it?" I said nervously I wasn't sure what he would say maybe he'd scoff and say something like 'Why don't you read your stupid books I'm not reading nothing!' Or maybe he say something more subtle like 'No I just don't feel like doing that today.' but I didn't expect this answer. "Yeah of course in fact I have a few back at my house that we can go over as well." He grinning at me like the god that he is. "You bought books, for the baby?" I said stunned.

"Well yeah I mean you I want to know what I'm going to when he comes out." He said smiling even wider. "He no, no, no he is going to be a she!" I said defiantly I would not have two Jace running around causing mayhem. "Its going to be a boy I can feel it!" He said with a crease between his brow."

"Well the first ultrasound is going to be tuesday so we'll see then!" Deep down I hoped it would be a girl.

--

I left her class room to go to the cafeteria my friends where calling me so I walked over to there table. There where six of them four guys two girls the tallest of the four guys was t.j he was a good kid he had black hair that was cut to a fade and always wore basketball jerseys. Then there was the shortest of them all Alex he was cool but short tempered his hair was red and came down to his shoulders for a short dude he had mad style. The third guy's name was Jean but we call him Jay he's kind of the follower in the group while he was nice he would do anything to win over the affection of the fourth one Josh he was an asshole but every one loved him he was average almost my height and had a fair build, his eyes where hazel and hair was a golden blond much like my own but he would never be anything standing next to me I knew that and so did he so he kept me close.

The two girls or sluts you can say where only there two fawn over Josh sometimes they gave there attention to the other three but it was clear who they preferred. Merissa was the beach blond with no brain she usually preferred to show as much cleavage as possible reason as to why she was where a low cut green halter top. The other one Michelle was one of the biggest sluts of all she was pretty with mocha colored skin and long lean legs that have probably wrapped around every guy on the foot ball team she had nice long brown curly hair and beautiful brown eyes to go along with a Spanish accent that would make a guy melt but she wasn't for me and she knew it.

"Hey Jace whats good man damn haven't seen you in a ill minute!" (Translation for the Ghetto deprived : Hey whats up haven't seen you in a while.) T.j said giving daps to Jace as he sat down. "Hey whats up man." I said smiling at everyone at the table.

"So whats good you haven't been around past few days." Alex said picking at his pizza. "Yeah you've been hanging around that girl whats her name ... Clary!" Jay said looking straight at me. "Yeah I have I guess." I said

"Why shes such a loser man god I mean shes so small she looks like a little kid." Josh said rudely. Before I can say anything in her defense Alex cuts in. "Shut the hell up man shes fine she small and shit but damn the girl got a body small breasts and a big ass just like I like em'." There pissing me off talking about her like that even though what Alex said is true I mean I have seen it up close and personal she got an ass but she hides it with those baggy cloths. "Hell yeah man and shes smart a smart fine chick man the things I would do!" I couldn't help but smile at this I knew it was wrong but I thought the same thing when I first saw her.

"How about no I mean sure she has some nice features like her eyes and stuff but haven't you noticed home girl has gained some major weight I mean she was so toned before she is getting a pop belly I mean if she don't start working out at this rate shes never going to get a man I bet shes horrible in bed." Merissa said flipping her pale beach blond hair. "Yeah whatever shes probably just itching to suck a fat one I mean come on a girl like her probably hasn't even had a man her life she'd probably pay someone to-" That's where I cut her off. "Listen don't talk about her like that unlike some sluts around here she does not have to do any of those things to get a man shes beautiful and confident and shes wild in bed!" Fuck did I just say that shes wild in bed? "Wild in bed huh so you've slammed her?" Josh said raising his eye brows.

"No- I mean shit." I said rubbing my face. "Don't fucking talk about my girl like that ok I will beat your fucking ass!" I said finally they all looked at me confused. "So shes your girl huh well congrats you got to introduce us like now." Jay said smiling so naturally everyone agreed. I nodded so we got up and went to the track she had gym today.

--

I ran into the locker room and locked myself into a stall to change quickly my bump had become more noticeable and if they saw me with out my big t-shirt they would all know. I came out in gray short shorts and a big white t-shirt. walking out to the track to meet the teacher I just hope she wouldn't make us do anything hard like sit ups and sprinting.

The sun was shining brightly and it was hot. I walked out to the track and sat down on the cool grass. As soon as enough students walked out our teacher started to yell out demands. She was tall and muscular she looked like a total dike and acted very butch. She was mean as hell!

"Ok today we are going to do health exercise I am going to push you hard today so you better keep up ok first where going to start with a series of intervals we'll do stretches after that five of you will go to the sit up station over there with the blue mats you'll give me 50 of those and after you will run not walk to the push up station the one with the green mats and you'll give me 50 of those after that you will run to the obstacle course and will-" All I could here from her mouth was 'First you go to the blue mates where you'll crush your baby into a small ball 50 times then you'll shake his small developing brain into an oblivion, then you go to the green mat and rick falling onto your stomach and crushing whats left of your baby.' No I knew I had to get out of this.

Once I raised my hand she said "And don't give me none of this I'm sick I want to go get a drink or the infamous I have to go to the bathroom remember this will be a timed routine so report back to me asap!" I was panicking I didn't know what to do but I knew I couldn't do this course. "Wait!" I yelled. "Coach Carter I can't do this today my leg its hurting!" Lame excuse!

"Well Hun I know your lying cause I saw you walk just fine out here before!" She said looking at me and so did every other person out there in the Field. "Ok well I just can't do this." I said. "Well then I just can't let you pass this class no can I give me a valid excuse or I'm sending you to the principle office for insubordination!" Damn my goo-die too shoes ways. So I got up and went up to her and said. "I can't participate cause I am pregnant." I said lifting up my shirt to prove it.

"Holy Shit!"

--

I walked down the hall way and out to the track I stood behind the bleacher trying to hide from the teacher. She was always nagging me for something or another. The guys where trailing behind me looking out to what was going on with clary.

I hear as Coach Carter spilled out a list of demands for the students in the field. I cringed as I heard each one what where they trying to kill my kid? There was no way she was going to do this.

"My leg hurts I cant do this!" I hears her say and I found my self nodding in agreement I heard one of the girls mumble "Lazy ass." But i couldn't care my focus was on my kid and whether it would be ok.

Shit. The teacher rejected her what was she going to do I saw her get up and walk to the teacher I never expected her to do this.

"I am pregnant." She said as she lifted her shirt to prove it.

"Oh shit!" I heard t.j yell as he walked up to the group I found myself following.

No one said anything for a few minutes my friends where stunned and so was I.

"Clary go to the bleachers I will talk to you in a minute the rest of the class begin." The teacher said dazed.

I walked up to Clary and sat her on my lap as I kissed her mouth. "You told her?" I asked suddenly. "Yeah I am sorry I just couldn't imagine doing all that I would kill her." She said rubbing her stomach. I held her close as my group approached. The first to speak was T.j "Wow ever pregnant your fine as hell if Jace don't work out ill still be here!" He said smiling. Clary blushed and I glared. "Hey my names Alex congrats on the baby man who would ever thought you of all people would get knocked up." I saw clary smile as he said this I could tell she was thinking the same thing.

"Hey may I?" Jay asked her and she nodded as she watched him rub her stomach. "Damn it kicked me by the way my names Jay."

She just nodded and smiled. "I'm Josh but you probably already knew that." I almost crapped my pants when she politely said 'No' The look on his face was priceless. "Oh that's why your getting fat well sorry I just thought you where getting a little sloppy with eating you food nice to know your not a fatty." Merissa said patting her on the head I watched as Clary glared at her so I held her tighter. "So she got you huh Jace for life with that damn baby oldest trick in the book got pregnant so she could keep a man typical." Michelle said as she picked at her nails. I felt Clary lung for her punching her right in the face.

She went down like a sack of potatoes. "Ah!" She screamed holding her face while Merissa struggled to help her up. Everyone was laughing so much we where gasping for air. She screamed once more before stalking off.

I grabbed Clary and kissed her on the forehead she was a feisty little pregnant girl that i would give her.

--

The nerve of that SLUT.

I would kill her stupid little-

I watched everyone laugh as I punched her in the face. I slowly joined then after it was pretty funny.

"My go you got a hell of a right hook dame fine, sexy, smart, and feisty your my kind of girl."Alex joked. I couldn't help but blush I never thought of my self as 'sexy' before.

"Come guys the teachers coming to talk to clary and I so scat." Jace said holding me tighter and he was right I saw the teacher come and sit across from me on the bleacher.

"Look I'm going to need to inform the councilors that your pregnant school regulations I assume you are the Father Jace?" She looked at Jace expectantly. "Yes he said firmly." I was proud at the moment to have someone like him to own up to his actions. "Well Clary you are excused from any activity from this class but don't worry I will give you paper work so you can keep up with the grade."

"Coach?" I said suddenly. "Yes Clary?" She said her eyes attentive showing that she was interested on what I had to say.

"Well I have not informed my mother yet so I was wondering if you could-"

"Not tell anyone until you have informed her?" She interrupted. "Yes." I breathed out. Please say yes! I wouldn't know what to do if she told I wouldn't know how to react. "Ok I wont but If you don't tell her by next Friday I'm going to tell her myself!" She said and with that she was gone.

I leaned against Jace with relief I couldn't believe what I just did.

--

I took her to my house early cause school was getting bother some. No one was home yet so we went up to my room laid on my bed and read baby books.

"Look at this it says that the baby can hear me at about this stage!" Clary said excited as she pat her stomach. "Hm, look at this one it says that its safe to have sex while pregnant in fact doing this can help make the birth more comfortable." I said wiggling my eyebrows while avoiding a flying book that was aimed at my head.

"It says that I should avoid the nipple which may be very sensitive and your feeling of well you know, maybe heightened."

"Shut up Jace!" She said while blushing. "Hey clary." I said kissing her neck "Lets have fun." I said while biting her ear.

I heard her gasp before saying no.

"Come on Clary there is no risk I mean the worst that could happen already did!" I said she raised her eyebrows at me before slowly kissing my lips.

I grabbed her shirt and pulled it off before she pulled mine off. I kissed her heavily and soon I got lost into it before I knew it we where both naked and she had stopped. I saw her blush as she attempted to cover her self. The article said they would be self conscious but I don't why i mean here she was a woman who was going to bring my baby into this world I couldn't imagine why she would look anything less that completely beautiful to me. "Your beautiful." I said kissing her stomach and breasts.

She quickly pulled me back up and let a earthy moan spill out as she kissed my lips. My hand trailed down as I found her core I could hear her gasp in pleasure. "Oh god Jace." She moaned as I rubbed her. "Don't stop I want more!" She begged.

She was such a turn on. I quickly left her face to go south. I tasted her long and hard. I got harder the louder her moans got till finally I couldn't take no more I had to be in her. "lay on your side don't put pressure on your stomach." She nodded dumbly before I laid behind her lifting her leg up over my thigh and I slipped into her wet folds. "My god." I groaned I could swear she was tighter than when I popped her cherry.

I slowly moved in and out of her letting her adjust till I heard her moans get louder.

--

God he was driving me crazy with the slow pace I wanted it fast right now. "Faster!" I cried out . I felt him move faster but not fast enough I knew he could but he wouldn't do it till I begged. "Please Jace I want it faster, harder, now!" I said

I felt him groan as he picked up the pace to staggering speeds.

It wasn't long until I was spent but he kept going bringing me to heaven and back five times in a row. He was a god I knew it.

He didn't pull out when he moved me to face him. "God Clary your amazing." he said as he kissed me tiredly I felt spent and completely drained.

"Oh god!" I said holding my stomach. I saw a flash of panic rush through his eyes as he quickly pulled out. "What happened is the baby alright what did I do?" I heard him say. I almost laughed at the expression on his face. "No the baby's fine its just kicking me like crazy I think it got an adrenaline rush." I giggled as I kissed his lips and laid on his shoulder. "Don't scare me like that again ok?" He demanded laying back down.

"Ok." I said as I fell into a light sleep.

--

"Come one Clary!" I said.

at the moment I was currently trying to awake the princess she fell asleep and hour ago and my parents should be home in 30 minutes.

"No!" She said pulling the sheets over her face. "Come one there going to be here any minute!" I lied but that should do the trick. "Oh Shit!" She screamed as she shot right up and glared at my laughing face.

"I am going to take a shower!" She said pulling the sheet around her and stomping off into the bathroom.

I decided to join her. As I walked in I noticed her laying in a bath full of bubbles humming to her self she smiled as I got in and joined her I moved her so she was laying on my chest as I washed her.

"Jace?" She asked her tone laced with worry. "What?"

"I was thinking I mean what will people think my mother told me that the clave aren't really cool with these kind of things you know disorder and stuff what if they decide that they wanted to fix it or something what would I do?" She said as tears spilled down her cheeks.

"Nothing there not going to touch you as long as I am around you hear me?" My face was tight as I even thought of them coming near her. "Thank you." I heard her whisper.

"Now come on your family is going to kill us if they find us here like this." She said getting up and drying off.

"Ok im coming." I said smiling as I watched her blush at the sight of me standing naked in the tub.

She still so innocent. I loved it.

--

We walked down one of the never ending hallways and found the kitchen.

I was starving and I wanted something to eat so naturally we came down here. "Ok what do want?" Jace asked me looking through the fridge.

His face crinkled when he saw one of Isabelle's concoctions in the fridge. "I want pickles, bananas and spaghetti's." I said suddenly. "Gross what the hell!" He said his face pinched in disgust as he slowly got the pickles out along with the spaghetti's and bananas. "So cravings have began huh?" He asked as he watched me chop the pickles and bananas up and throw it in the spaghetti's. "No I mean maybe but its really good want to try it?" I said sticking a spoon of it in his face he immediately stepped back yelling "Hell no!"

I laughed as I munched on another bite full.

"Hey Whats up guys." A voice asked. As I turned around I saw Isabelle Max, Alec and there parent's standing at the door there eyes on my food and there faces disgusted. "Man what are you eating!" Max said suddenly stepping up to me and peering over my shoulder at my food. "Um Pickles Bananas and Spaghetti's?" I said weakly this was it Jace was going to sit them down and tell them today I just hoped they wouldn't totally kill me for it.

"Hey guys I want to speak with you all and since your all hear I figured we would do it now if that's OK." Jace said seriously. "Yeah sure Hun anything you want." said.

"Ok I know you guys have met Clary already right?" jace said taking a deep breathe as jace watched everyone nod there head and stare.

"Well something happened to me and her and we thought you should know." jace made another pause before talking again. "Shes five months pregnant."

There was a sudden silence before Isabelle spoke up. "I knew it she looked a little round too me and the weird food totally gave it away." She said smiling at me for the first time in her life.

Alec just got up and walked out of the room a slammed door could be heard before anyone responded. "Look Jace I don't know what to tell you Its not like I didn't see this coming at the rate you where going it was bound to happen so this isn't much of a shock so I guess all I can say is well take care of her you hear." Mr. Lightwood said as he too walked away. "I'm disappointed but what am I going to do?" Mrs. Lighwood said coming up to me and kneeling on the floor.

"May I?" She said before lifting my shirt up to see my baby bump. Isabelle quickly joined her followed by max.

"Do you know what it is yet?" Mrs. Lightwood said with tears in her eyes. "No ma'am I don't we'll find out Tuesday though." I said my voice shaking.

"Jace its getting dark you should walk Clary home." said smiling and patting me on the stomach her eyes widening as she felt it kick.

"Oh my!" She gasped. I smiled yeah this baby was a strong one I saw her kiss my stomach lightly before leaving the room.

"Your coming over tomorrow right?" Isabelle said with an eager expression. "Yeah." I said confused 'why was she being so nice?'.

"Alright see you later then bye Clary!" She said as she walked out the door to go and find her brother.

"That went well!" Yeah I guess it did.

When I got home I kissed my mom lightly before introducing her to Jace.

"Handsome young man you there!" She said surprised.

"hey is Luke here?" I said looking around usually he was home for dinner.

"Yeah he is in the bathroom Hun why whats wrong."

She said wiping her hands on her color stained t-shirt. "Mom Sit down I have to tell you something."

--

I sat there as she told her mother the whole story front the club to now. I sat there felling Luke's gaze on my back and I watched as her mother cried on his shoulder. "I am sorry ma'am I really am I intend on taking full responsebilty for my actions." I said nervous for the fist time in my life.

"Do you know what you have done?" She nearly screamed out at me. "You brought my daughter back into the world of the _shadow-hunters_ you brought her back to the world I tried so hard to protect her from how could _you_!" She screamed as Luke held her close glaring at me.

"I am sorry ma'am." I said looking down I couldn't have felt worse at that moment there was nothing in the world that could have been worse.

"She is_ special_ my daughter is very special if the clave finds out- no, if _he_ finds out he will get_ her_ and your _baby_!" She said her eyes crazed.

We sat for hours as she mumbled 'Its not safe' and 'What have you done.'

"I think you should take Clary over to your place for tonight I'm going to sit and discuss somethings with her mother see if I can work things out, It will be better by morning trust me." Luke said kissing Clary goodbye and shutting the door behind him.

"That went well." Clary said as she walked on the side walk with tear stained cheeks. "Come here." I said kissing her and holding her close to me.

"Everything is going to be alright."

As the words escaped my lips I prayed that I was right.

--

**ITs LoNg-ISh**

**So RevIEw OK?**

**ThAnK YoU FaITHful VeiweRS.**

**- KoOKy 27**

**BYe.**


	7. Chapter 7

******Chapter seven: Missing**

******Disclaimer: I do not own Mortal Instrument series.**

--

_She was at a loss for words, her own mother couldn't have her in the same house. Luke warned her to stay away for awhile while she had time to sort things out. So far it had been about three days since the incident and all she could do was sleep and sulk. Nothing else mattered until she could talk to her mother and it was killing her to know that her mother was so disappointed that she didn't want to look her in her face._

_Jace had left her alone for the first two days thinking that she just needed time but after he discovered she hadn't eaten any of the food he left for her, he knew he had to do something._

--

"Clary If you don't get up and eat something I'm going to have to force you." Jace's voice threatened through the wooden door. All he got was a groan in response. "I'm coming in and I promise this will not be pretty!" He threatened again but still no reply. "Fine have it your way." He said opening the door with a big gust of air in its wake. He walked over to his girlfriend and sat her up despite her struggle "Whens the last you ate?" He asked glaring at her with a great intensity. "I don't know since I came here?" She said turning her head away from him.

"You have starved my baby for three days are you mad woman?" He said checking her stomach to see if it had mysteriously disappeared. "I'm sorry I just cant eat with the thought of my mother out there not being able to stand the sight of me!" She cried out laying her head on his shoulder. "Look I'm sorry your hurting right now but you have to eat you really do I promise she will call." He said laying a tray of food in front of her. "Fine for the baby." She sighed heavily picking up the fork and bringing the food into her mouth.

"Your ultra sounds today so after this take a shower and get ready Im going to send Isabelle over with some cloths she bought for you ok?" Jace asked warily." He left the room so she could bathe in peace hoping that she would truly be ok.

--

I got up from bed my legs shaking beneath me. Once I made my way to the bath tube I slowly release the water watching the water flow. I missed a couple days of school Simon must be wondering what happened to me. Though I'm not sure what to tell him I don't feel like talking much anymore thank god for jace (though I never thought i would say those words) If not for him I would have starved and slowly withered away. My mother is all I have in the world because of the clave and the evil man she had to run away from everything she knew including a family, too disappoint her is like stabbing her in the heart (my heart) we where that close.

I haven't felt the baby kick for a couple days which should frighten me but now I have this feeling in the pit of my stomach that maybe it was for the best I didn't needed anymore reminders of what I had done. Jace was having a hard time with me and I knew he was growing tired of me sulking around the house all day. But I was hurting bad and I didn't know what to do. I sank into the tub looking at the small bump on my belly this thing was causing everyone pain and it was all because I needed one night to prove that I could be more than little ol' careful Clary more than the good one.

I showed them alright and me I was the rebel the type of girl that got pregnant at 16 the fact that my baby's dad was almost 20 didn't help either. But he was trying and I wasn't helping I'll call Luke today and ask about my mom and god be damned if I don't see her tonight!

--

The drive down to the doctors was a quiet one once we got inside she stood in the waiting room with a Salmon face. She was sad and this much I knew but it was starting to agitate me her whole dilemma if I had known for one second that she would've acted like this I wouldn't have encouraged her to tell her mother.

But still every time I saw her standing there always a foot shorter than everyone else her dark red hair pulled up into a bun her delicate hands rubbing her stomach I couldn't help but want to take her right there.

I didn't love her this much I knew but I was drawn to her like I couldn't get her out of my mind ever since that first day at the club I wanted her everything that happened that night was unexpected but I'd do it again and risk bringing a baby into the world just for her only for her.

And getting her pregnant was a risk, the clave looked down upon this sort of behavior not only was Clary still a child but in shadow hunter world i was more than a full grown adult. and if you added to the fact all of this was done out of wedlock then well you had your self a problem.

"Clary fray!" The nurse called by the wooden door she was cute had to be in her mid twenty's tall had short black hair and a big rack. not that i was looking. I followed Clary to the door. "Sorry but you cant come in unless your the father." She looked at Clary and said "I know you might want your brother or friend to come but policy is policy." She looked at me when Clary said "He is the father."

"But he looks too old to be- I mean is that your so young and he looks like he's in his twenty's im so sorry its not my place please come in!"

she pointed us to a white room that smelled of rubbing alcohol and plastic. Clary started smiling when she closed the door. "You look too old to be my boyfriend." She giggled. "Your sick sick man what will people think?" Then she started laughing full on. I wasn't so amused. "That's not cool people thinks I molested you or something!" But she just kept laughing. So i pulled her to me and held her tight as I kissed her.

She gasp softly before kissing me back. "Stupid." She said before kissing me again this time deeper.  
"Hello I'm your doctor-" I looked to the door with a smirk feeling Clary trying to get out of my arms.  
"Take a seat Clary and I'll start the examination."

She did a series of questions whether or not she been drinking smoking drugs and so on mostly boring. "OK Clary take off your cloths and slip into this ill be back in 3 minutes." She said leaving a blushing Clary behind. "Oh come on you knew that was coming." I said watching Clary squirm under my gaze. "No I didn't I've never been to a gynecologist or anything like it never read about it till i got pregnant I didn't think she would want me to strip!" she nearly yelled, I couldn't help but smile at her innocence.

"Just strip." I said smiling. "Not with you here no way." She said moving behind a cabinet trying to get undress in that small space. "Your being silly I've seen you naked before." I said rolling my eyes.

"Yeah well I was a little to distracted to care plus I've gained like 3 pounds!" She was being silly and I think she knew but regardless I politely turned my focus to the floor waiting for her to finish undressing.

The Doctor came in right after she finished followed by a female nurse. She began checking Clary's breast poking them and feeling about Clary looked uncomfortable to say in the least. She then moved to the next one followed by her abdomen after that she sat at the end of the table putting her legs on stirrups. I choked down a chuckle when I heard Clary's groan of embarrassment.

It wasn't for another 5 minutes till the doctor spoke. "Ok so honestly how old are you Clary 15,16, I'm not going to lie to you many girls your age often have trouble delivering because they are so younger and to add to your undeveloped body your too small to give birth naturally you could end up having complications with the baby if were not careful though I do not wish to scare you I just thought you should know.." I couldn't help but feel a certain amount of distaste for the whole ordeal It all became to real seeing tiny small Clary sitting on the table looking worried and unsure I couldn't stand the sight especially knowing that all of it was my fault in the first place.

--

She scared me, her soft chestnut curls and amber eyes staring at me with such coldness. It was almost like she thought I had what I got coming, like I deserved this for being a irresponsible teenager and getting knocked up in the first place. I could of sworn I seen the mist of mirth in those eyes I knew she was happy. She eventually laid me down in a dark room and squeezed cold creme on to my rounded stomach. After awhile all became silent leaving me to my thoughts. She said I was too small to have a baby and some part of me knew I couldn't do it all along. It was scary thinking that because I wanted to be careless I killed an innocent child.

I sat still barley breathing when I heard the muffled heartbeat echoing through out the room. I saw Jace shoot up from his seat his eyes widening at the machine. "Whats happening?" I whispered fearful that if I spoke to loud that beautiful music would stop."Its your baby's heart beat and I've gotten a couple of head shots and gender shots would you like to see?" The Doctor asked me smiling genuinely. I nodded my head captured by the soft rhythm of the baby's heart. I looked at the screen at a mess of black and white it took me a minute or two to officially identify the baby's head. I could see its feet and toes hands and feet. it was a surreal moment to think that a mistake could be that precious an monumental something that could leave me speechless and out of breath.

--

We left the doctors with a manila envelope heavy and curious the doctor said that within those papers there laid the gender of our upcoming baby Clary stated she rather find out when the time was right when she was ready to fully enjoy the news. And I said that I agreed but we both knew the minute I got my hands on that piece of paper I would be all over it.

We decided to walk to her mothers today to try and persuade her to stop being angry toward us I knew if this didn't work then Clary would continue on being depressed and aggravating so I prayed to the nephelim it would.

--

As we walked up to the apartment I felt cold and out of place I noticed as Jace's back became rigid and stiff. The halls smelled of something dead and foul and the lights above of flickered to a bright, dark and dim setting. My gut clenched in horror as we approached the door to my mothers apartment a huge claw mark embedded in the wood of our cherry red stained door. Jace pushed me behind him as he slowly twisted the door knob peeking inside. It was like I was living in a horror film except there was no background music to increase the suspense though I was sure the sight of that apartment was enough to drive horror and suspense into anyone.

The once cheery white walls of my mothers apartment were now smothered in red, not any paint of hers I assure you. all her paintings ripped in half on the floor and black sludge trailing all over the carpet there were claw marks every where and plenty of blood to spare and that stench! that god awful stench that stank of dead body's and rotten food! My stomach heaved in response. I walked up the stairs leaving Jace to gaze upon the black trail of sludge on the floor. My bedroom was scattered and torn I picked up some of my sketchbooks and jewelry placing them on the bed. I sat on the bed prepared to cry my eyes out until I heard a rattle from with in the closet.

So I walked up to the once white sliding doors and opened them. And in it -much to my surprise- laid a creature much to horrible to describe not that I could If I had the chance because the next thing I knew It launched its self at me murmuring ludicrous things into my ears. I fell backwards trying to gain my footing thinking of the child within me the whole time as I felt it tear a claw into the flesh on my leg I screamed when suddenly the pain stopped and I saw Jace standing above looking at the creature who now laid dead beside me the liquid leaked out of it was black and smelt of death.

Not that the sight of it mattered much now all I could here resonating through my head was its last and final words.

**"Valentine never said anything about the girl."**

--

**Thank you all for waiting such a long time for this small but excruciating important update I have gotten review after review of how good this story is and for that I am grateful but now I have been stumped for I want this story to follow the line of all three books my only problem of course is how to fit three books into one and add a baby?**

**Hm please keep me inspired with your much detailed reviews and word of advise until next time!**

_**- Kooky_27**_


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 : THIS IS SKIMMING OVER BOOK ONE AND HALF OF TWO ;) KK ENJOY OH AND SPOILERS SO BECARFUL **

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It has been 5 weeks and since then I have gone through many things.

Hodge has betrayed us and we fought Valentine, my mother has been captured by her ex husband and has been under a very powerful magic coma.

I have learned that my sweet dear Lucas was a werewolf and I know that Alec's Gay. Life has not been what I thought it to be and quite frankly I am exhausted.

I miss my mother and I hope that she will be alright.

Right now I am sitting in front of my childhood friend Simon. He will never be the same again and like many things that have happened this is all my fault.

He is a vampire and I am the only one to blame. If only I knew he loved me like he did. I wouldn't have kissed jace in the faire court. Did I mention the big one? The one that broke me and Jace up forever?

He is my brother, My brother Johnathan whom I thought to be dead but instead he was being held by his father, my father ... our father. I get up and walk to his room after everyone has left. I am pregnant with my brothers child. I can't help but cry. I enter the room and I see him wiping some of the slime of of his face before he looks up and sees me standing there.

"Clary." He says and looks away. "What do you want?"

I look at him in anger and I know that he won't let my words leave him. "You said to me that you wanted to be brother and sister nothing more so what do you want Clary why are you here?" He said to me his

eye molten and bright.

"What do you want me to say to you, that I love Simon like I should love you, or that I love you like I should love simon, I lied Jace, I don't know if I can go on the way we have been going on these past few weeks."

I said everything I know I shouldn't say. "Then don't lets run away, be together we could keep it a secret Clary just you and me forever and our baby." He said holding me close to him. I had never seen him more vulnerable, he was a desperate man.

"I don't know, but whats done was done I am having your baby and soon all of the clave will know." I said "who knows what will happen to me when they find out about me and you or my baby, or my abilities."

"I won't let them touch you!" He said looking at me with cold eyes.

"I know and that's what scares me the most." I said looking down. "I don't think I can do this I am 6 months pregnant with my brothers child, my befriends a vampire, my moms in a coma, and soon the clave will come for my head." I said sitting down on the floor patting my stomach.

He kneel-ed down and looked at me. "Clary." then he moved his head toward mine and kissed me.

He kissed me like he always had with love and passion. I moaned at his touch and I knew this was wrong but It didn't feel so wrong it felt like it always felt. Right.

"No!" I said pushing him away and for a second I saw the hurt in his eyes, before he masked it. "What Clary didn't enjoy it relax sister I was only testing you but I see you feel the same as I do, wait here I will be done shortly." And then he was gone.

I stared at the door for a long time before I felt someone touching my shoulder. "Clary wake up!" Jace said hovering over me. "What?" I mummbled trying to place where I was at that moment.

"You fell asleep, go take a shower and come to bed." He said pushing me toward the bathroom.

I walked into the bathtub and I did all I could do and cry. He was all I wanted and I knew I couldn't have him. And this baby it was hard enough to love him with out knowing that our sin would forever live for everyone to see.

I walked out of the shower after and hour and saw jace laying down on the bed staring at the ceiling. I crawled up to him and lay down beside him. I felt him adjust himself so that he could sit up right.

I could feel as he placed a hand at the small of my back to lift me up so that he could raise my shirt.

"Jace.." I said as he placed his head on my stomach and rubbed it slowly. "shh.." He shushed me as he began to whisper to our baby like he did each night. It was why I couldn't move from his room. because he wouldn't allow me to sleep alone he knew the baby would be restless with out him.

I missed Jace so much it hurt and I couldn't help but let tears fall from my eyes as he began to speak louder whispering sweet nothings to our baby.

Ok so at this point I knew I shouldn't have but my only excuse is that I was pregnant and vulnerable and I really missed him and I knew this would hurt later but at the moment ... well the moment seemed alright.

So I pulled Jace up and kissed him for all I was worth. He looked at me in understanding and we swiftly made quick of our clothes. I could feel him inside me again and it never felt better he was gentle because of the baby but I knew he wanted nothing more than to pound away at me and the thought alone could make me orgasam.

"Oh Jace!" I moaned as I clawed at his back. I knew this was wrong and he was my brother but I loved him so much I just couldn't hold back.

"Ah!" I screamed at my release and as usual he was far from done. I could feel his hands remembering my body and I knew this was the last times that me and him would touch so intimately, I felt sad all at once but I continued to hold him close not wanting to let go of his body.

He grunted and I knew it was all over. He had come inside me and I could feel his warmth inside my body. "Jace?" I said as he tucked me against his chest. "I want you to know before we have to walk out that door and into reality, I'm glad I met you, I wouldn't change a thing it will always be you Jace, you are the guy I have waited for my whole life, I don't think I could ever-" I said as I sobbed into his shoulder and he held me tight.

"I love you too Clary." He whispered as he closed his eyes.

I knew morning would come soon and when I open my eyes all this would be a memory of my faults but I couldn't bring myself to care just yet because here he was and he was mine if only for tonight.

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**Ok so omg I know I haven't written in while but its been hectic. I know this is short but if you comment the next will be longer. be easy on me lol - Rina Mcnugget ( former kooky_27)**


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